Hello 2016!

IT IS TIME. Today, I felt the need to write a blogpost. I don't consider myself a "blogger", and previously wrote to keep people updated during my time with YWAM, since I was traveling so much.

It has been two years since I wrote about my life and what God was doing. The last time was when He encouraged me to start dreaming again... to bring to life the things He placed in my heart to do; and also to recognize that He believed in them too! He didn't just create us to do specific things and leave us alone to figure it out on our own... No, He created us to do these things WITH Him. Beautiful :)

I say all these things, but it took me a LONG time for the truth to get from my head to my heart. (And is still happening)

So what in the world has Violet been doing the last two years?? Would love to share... Gosh. Where to start. When God encouraged me to start dreaming again, and said it was time for my dreams and His dreams to collide- He also said to pick a place to live and He would bless it.

If you know me, you wouldn't be surprised I wanted to live by the beach :) but that didn't seem right for the season. I remember sitting on my parent's porch fresh out of YWAM, making a list of possible places I wanted to live... I even started by dreaming of places outside of the states-possibly an island where I could be barefoot and free, and start my new life with the community that lived there. There was something in my heart that longed for a life by the sea, getting married, living in a beach-tree house with a baby on my hip. Haha... but I felt God say this season is best in the states ;) maybeee one day.

To make a long story short, Nashville was chosen for many reasons that seemed to fit the season. I ended up moving there several months later, and beginning a journey that God knew I needed.

The first year of moving here was not always easy, especially getting used to "normal life" after working in an organized ministry for almost five years. But at the end of the year, I remember God showing me all that He did in my heart- how He laid a foundation of His love for me in every area of my life. You see, while in YWAM my relationship with God grew more than ever before... I knew there was more to life and God than what I knew and was so hungry for it. I didn't have the words for what I was hungry for, but I KNEW THERE WAS MORE and was desperate for it. And then God met my hunger- and I discovered His love for me more than ever before. It changed my life. And while reflecting on my first year living in Nashville, God showed me that I needed to walk out all the things He taught me while in YWAM. And I began to see how I was pushed to trust and truly believe in the truths that He taught me- and they all included how He is a good, faithful, and loving Father and provides for our every need- wherever He calls us (EVEN when it is a "normal" life). He is really good.

And when I reflected with Him about my first year, He said- "How can you receive all the good things I have for you if you don't believe in my goodness as your Father? That's why I had to lay a foundation of my love for you." And I realized through the rough first year (and all the times I questioned and doubted Him), I was able to see how He started to cement those truths into my heart. WHY DO I DOUBT HIS GOODNESS.

My second year started off beautifully... full of hope and promise. Full of God encouraging me to start pursuing the dreams He placed in my heart. I even switched jobs with God's direction so that my time would open up to pursue those areas. And so I did. I let creativity flow! I started to do anything I enjoyed that allowed the creative side of me to come back to life. I started painting more, making jewelry, decorating, but most importantly-I started embracing my dreams with music. With God's encouragement, I jumped in not knowing where it would go. I just knew I HAD to start.

Looking back to my second year, I see God's intentionality in my life-He allowed different circumstances to happen that spoke deeply to the dreams in my heart. And during those circumstances would continue to say, "See, I am so intentional in your life, Violet! I see your heart and I see your dreams and desires. Keep walking. Keep going- I am for you." During these circumstances, He challenged me to dream deeper with Him than I ever have before. And because they spoke so deeply to my heart, it also uncovered two lies I had to work through....

1) Are you really THAT good? (My question to God about Him realllly meeting my heart's deepest dreams...because it is realllly hard to dream deeper with God if you don't believe He will meet them... so why risk being disappointed?? You can see why that was a big one and why it needed to go.

2) Am I really enough? (Fill in the blank with the insecurities about myself).

Those two lies almost wiped me out. As soon as I started walking in what I felt God created me to do, I started to face a lot of warfare. You name it- discouragement, hope-deferred, comparison (ewww), doubt... etc. Gross. There was a point where I was ready to quit. To go home, and forget the dreams in my heart. What the hell was I thinking? At times I felt I was mocking myself... "so you moved to Nashville to pursue your dreams, huh? And you are working at a coffee shop and almost thirty years old. You are awesome. Maybe you should get a real job and forget it.... everyone else is better than you in music anyway." And I slowly stopped pursuing the things God was encouraging me to do.

But THANK GOD I didn't quit. I pressed into His heart.

Hope this doesn't sound too dramatic-but guys... lets BE REAL. Following God isn't always roses. Sometimes we have a battle to fight.

After that, I decided to take a break to let my heart rest. And I will admit that it is harder than I thought to start again... but lately, I have felt God encourage me that it is time. Time to dive into the season again, and I agree wholeheartedly! I have felt so dry lately- and when I asked Him why, He said that it is from not pursuing the things that He is calling me to. Makes a lot of sense- because our hearts become disconnected from believing in our purpose and having faith when we aren't walking in what He is calling us to do.

And today I was inspired to write this blog because I felt my heart flood with hope from simply embracing what I feel God is saying- and stepping into it again. All I did was say yes, I am going to believe again and start today-then picked up my guitar and started to sing (and they were just simple worship songs). And can see how simple obedience and faith can shift the atmosphere in our hearts and lives.

Thankful today. And going to embrace who God says I am. I am a life-giver. An atmosphere shifter. I am a dreamer, and a fighter for people's heart's. Created to create, and bring beauty into the world. I have a purpose, and a God who is all about it.

I don't know what God's plans are in this area of my life, and don't wish to be a Taylor Swift. All I know is that I want to create music that changes people's lives in the simplest, and in the most beautiful of ways.. and am going to keep my eyes on Jesus and keep walking.

Thanks for reading this vulnerable post. xxoo

Violetta

Life

Previously, I mentioned how I felt God leading me to choose a place and plant myself. This was surprising to me, because I expected Him to bring me into another organized ministry, or long-term into a third world country. Yes, I feel I am made to reach people from unreached nations, and travel sharing the love of Jesus. But when God kept confirming that He wanted me to choose a place that I wanted to live and be for a time-I quickly realized how GOOD He is to me... because my heart needed this season. Long story short, I ended up choosing Nashville, Tennessee. While waiting for God to open up the right housing details, I worked and saved for a few months living near my family in Virginia. After being in ywam for over 4 years, these few months with my family was such a wonderful time-a gift that I didn't want to take for granted!

 

To be honest, coming out of ywam/missionary life after so many years was not always easy. Once you are in ministry for a time, it can be hard to adjust to a "normal" pace of life that does not focus solely on missions and the big picture of what God is doing around the world. My life consisted so much of pouring my love and energy into students and how God was moving in the nations. And in the midst of all this, God did a great amount in my heart personally with healing and restoration-which allowed me to go deeper in my understanding of His love, and deeper in my own love for Him. The process of healing God brought me through was often hard, but looking back at it now I can describe it as a dance of Him loving me, and me loving back-so simple. 

Then suddenly I am faced with the question of- "where do YOU want to live? what do YOU want for this season I am leading you in, Violet? Because I am going to plant you where you are going to thrive"... which at first caused me to struggle a bit with questions like, "Wait, are you sure? This is not stepping away from what you are calling me to, is it? Did I do something wrong? etc. etc. Yes, I struggled a bit.

Then I began to see how much He loves the dreams that He planted in my heart. Not only does He love when we are willing to follow Him anywhere He leads us, but He also cares about our personal dreams. And some of my personal dreams were willingly surrendered and put on the back shelf-while trusting that He knew best even if those things didn't happen. Yet, I have been overwhelmed by what I feel God is saying to me... That it is the time for my dreams and His dreams to collide-that I am stepping into a time of abundance and gifts from Him.

WAIT... WHAT?? Yeah. That's what I said and struggled with believing completely. Yet, I am learning that we have a GOOD Father that LOVES us deeper and more extravagantly than we understand... that it is not just about us joining Him in His interest in reaching the world... He is also interested in what makes His sons and daughters come alive.

Something God said during this whole process was,

"Violet, I delight in the smallest of details-the "mundane" things in life. It's not just about big missions, or where it seems I am doing the most work- it's about obedience wherever I call my children. Whether it is eating rice and beans in a third-world country, or working a "normal" job, they are equally important. It's about Me being the center of your heart wherever I call you. What if a life full of the details filled with my breathe of life made the most impact in the world? So receive my fullness right now, every day look to Me to breathe into the small things and the big things. Let Me fill you with all the joy, love and delight you were made to carry... don't fear embracing it, I made you for abundant life! And when My sons and daughters walk in the fullness of what I died to give them-wherever I lead them- they are the most light."

 

Just LOVE Him so deeply. I hope this encouraged YOU as well, wherever you are living and working :) My heart's desire is to love Him wherever I go and allow that to be the overflow to the people around me.

All that to say, I am loving Nashville. It's finally starting to feel like my home for now-adjusting takes time with everything new. I am blessed with a house of several amazing housemates, along with a job that is good for this season. I don't know how long I will be living here, or what His calling in my life with missions looks like. But I know that He is filling my heart with fresh hope and faith of His plans to combine His dreams with my dreams-and is doing something new combined with what He has told me in the past. 

I am starting to see God's goodness for this season coming true-and am learning to dream with Him again.  Thanks for reading these scribbles and thoughts. I appreciate you and all the support you have given me through this walk.

Much love,

Violet

Glimpse into My Life

Decided to scribble a few lines and share what is new in my life :)

After helping with several mission trips this summer, I came to Virginia to visit my family not knowing what was next. All I knew was that God was transitioning me out of YWAM. Since I have been home, He has been confirming that He is pulling me out of organized/support raised ministry for now, and letting me choose a place to plant myself. At first, it was a hard transition because I am in love with world missions and God's heart for the nations-but I can see the beauty in His timing and how healthy this season is for my heart. My plans are to work and save for several months near my family before this step.

The season I had in YWAM was such a beautiful time, and has brought me deeper into the heart of a God whose love I cannot measure. The same God who is on the move in every nation, is the same God who is pursuing the heart of every individual...and I am forever changed. 

This is just a few lines of a much longer process, let me know if you want to catch up to hear  more details of this somewhat-vague blog post :) 

xxoo

Back from Fiji, and am blown away by all that God did while we were there!

During the first week of the Circuit Rider school, hundreds of hungry believers from all over Fiji came to be apart of the teachings that were given every morning. All different ages came to grow in their walk with Christ... it was a beautiful sight to see people from all ages, and all walks of life.

Personally, I ended up sleeping in a church basement during the week with a youth group that drove from the opposite side of the island to be apart of the conference. Sleeping on the floor with a bunch of Fijians became one of my highlights of the week, and ended feeling apart of their family :)

So what did a typical day look like during the conference?? Good question :)

*The morning was filled with a time of worship and praise, followed by a teaching that brought freedom, challenges, and a heart that longs for people to know the same Love we have found!

*After lunch, we had a small break and then most days the students broke up into groups and spread throughout the city telling people about Jesus and praying for the sick. We saw many healings and salvations just through the small amounts of evangelizing we did in the afternoon.

*And my favorite time everyday was our night sessions that were focused for the people in the Lautoka community. It was in the center of the city in a field that was open and welcoming for all to join! We started with music and worship, and then ended our evenings with a message and times and opportunities for people to accept Jesus and recieve prayer... IT WAS THE BEST :)))

****We saw almost 250 people accept Jesus during the week!!!! It was incredible how God is moving in people's hearts. Often we would see whole families come to know Jesus. It was an honor to see heart's changed and plug them into a community/church to continue growing in Fiji.

We saw Muslims and Hindu's come to Jesus... people were so open to the Gospel! Jesus is real and so in love with these people!!!!!

****Also, we saw many healings! A lady with a blind eye was healed, cancer was healed, skin disease healed, deaf ears opened, and many more stories :) it was such a priviledge to see people cry out of joy from pain being completely GONE after YEARS. Thankyou, Jesus.

It was incredible, and I am so thankful I got to be apart of what God is doing in Fiji. I grew so much personally as well, learning more and more how God loves how He created me to love people and how He was so happy to have me join Him during this summer. It has given me more confidence knowing that He loves how He made me to be apart of the body of Christ. I feel that my love for Jesus continues to grow as I discover more and more how much He is in love with us... and from that love, I CAN'T HELP but share with others. :)

Here are some pictures!

 

 

a peak at open tent nights for the community

 

friends I made during some of our free time



more precious than words can say.

 

 

Now, I am back in Los Angeles, spending time with a couple of friends until Circuit Riders starts this week! Hundreds are about to gather to join what God is doing in California. Can't. Wait. :-) I will be helping staff, and am soaking up this time of summer adventures with Jesus.

 

Thankyou for keeping up with me and all God is inviting me to! If you would like to help support me for this summer, my contact information is on the right side of the blog. I am still in need of some funds for the rest of the Circuit Riders in Pennsylvania and Kansas City, Missouri. Thankyou for considering!

 

 

~Violetta

Oh, the places you'll go

Today, is the day... 

Destination: Fiji!!!!!

It's the start of my summer travels with several mission trips :-)

What
Mission trips with YWAM Circuit Riders/July-August

Where
1. Fiji
2. Los Angeles
3. Pennsylvania
4. Kansas City

Why
To encourage and awaken believers, and reach people for Jesus in every location :-)

Recently...

Just spent a bit of time resting after helping lead an outreach team to LA. It has been so refreshing and refilling having time to process, dream, and go deep with God in many areas of my life. Thank you for keeping up with me in this journey that God invites me into. I will do my best to keep blogging throughout the summer!

~Violet

What Does Love Look Like?

Time Flieees! Good gracious, only a week until our team of 20 goes back to Kona, Hawaii to graduate. I am still wrapping my mind around all that God has done in and through our team... along with all that I have learned on this mission's trip. Our student's are amazing! So proud of each one of them...We have seen God's faithfulness everywhere we have gone!

 Personally, I have learned more what love looks like to people from all places of life... learned to care and love "the one" person that God brings in my path, to sharing my testimony to many people.... Every person has a different story, different background, and a unique way God wants to love and reach. I have learned again how important love is-more than just words. More than just bringing truth-but allowing God's love to open people's hearts. I have been reminded during this time how it isn't us that saves people-it is God! HE opens doors, HE changes people. We are just joining Him- being His hands and feet... with simple obedience and a yes to Him daily, He does the rest.

This time in LA has been the most "normal life" mission's trip I have been on. I have always gone to places in Asia, and places that are more poor-places that are so different than America-so different than my backyard. But this time has allowed me to truly walk out what it looks like to live a normal life (haha sounds funny), but being a light wherever I go. Not out of a striving sense, but out of  being open to God bringing people in my path to love and speak His truth to. Our lives are walking testimonies, and love that I can go to a shopping center and ask God, "Is there anyone you want me to speak to today? Anyone you want me to share your truth with, pray for, or just spend time with?". Reaching people in our country can be harder than going to a third world country where people are so eager to spend time with you, and so aware of their needs and broken humanity. It has definitely been more of a challenge doing outreach in Los Angeles, but so needed for my heart to walk in. I have been challenged in ways that are vital for the rest of my life.

Anyway, more to come! God is changing California :) He is on the move and it is a beautiful thing. Here are just a few pictures of our time:

Ministry in SanFrancisco

 Team Picture!

Campus Ministries

 Homeless Ministry

Love these ladies!!!

Our God is FAITHFUL!!! 

We leave in six short days :)