What A Year!

Hello:)

I wanted to write a blog post sharing an update on YWAM Maui and a glimpse into my life too!

I have so much to be thankful for :) First, we are SO THANKFUL to have our schools running, even with covid regulations. We were able to honor Maui's policies, and continue moving forward. We are also blessed that we've had no covid cases among our staff and students. Thankyou, God! It has been a lot of extra details an planning, but it has been so worth it! Seeing how God has been changing these student's lives will never get old. 

We sent our teams to their outreach countries just before the new year. They will be doing ministry in Kosovo, Costa Rica, and America for the next few months. Along with our teams we just sent out, we also have a new school that started! 

The staff pray for each school before they arrive, asking the Lord if there is a major theme that He has for them as a whole. This school's theme was all about surrender. Here is a testimony from one of the students that explains her story of surrender during the school:

       

My name is Amy, and I am from Nova Scotia, Canada. I am currently a DTS student here at YWAM Maui. I have just been thriving here these past few weeks, and God has been teaching me so much. Life on base is so great. I love the YWAM Maui community. The staff and students have all become my “YWAM Fam” and I know it sounds cliché, but this place is truly always filled with love and laughter.
The theme for our school is surrender. Every week it seems that the Lord is challenging me to surrender something new. At first, surrender seemed really scary. I didn’t want to give God complete control of my future plans, my security, or my family. I also didn’t want to let go and give Him my insecurities, shame, and the lies that I tell myself. I wanted to keep it all locked away in my heart. I felt like all these things were too big for me to leave in his hands. But the Lord has been showing me that by surrendering these things to him, He will give me life, and life abundantly. Everything I surrender to Him, He trades for something so much better.
The Lord has specifically been asking me to surrender my plans to Him. In Maria’s words, I was “the YWAMer who came with a plan.” I came to YWAM to have a season to seek the Lord before returning to my plan of pursuing education and a career. I thought I would give this year to God, travel, have some good memories, and then I would go home and continue on with all my plans. I wanted Him to follow me on my path, but I wasn’t willing to follow Him on His path.
As I have been wholeheartedly seeking the Lord during my time here, He has been revealing His plan for my life which is far better than the one I had come with. During a worship morning, the Lord gave me a picture. There were two doors, and both of them were open. One door was my plans and the other door was God’s plan for me. He left them both open because it was my choice; I was still allowed to choose my plans over His. Then I heard Him say “Amy I’ve got bigger things for you than your own plans.”
Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”
As I’ve been seeking the Lord, He has been revealing Himself to me more and more. He has also been showing me a little bit of what His plan for me looks like and it is way different than my plans. But when I follow what Jesus has for me, I know I’ll be living the best life I could possibly live. I’m not saying that it is the easiest life I could live, but I know that it will be the fullest.

I choose to surrender my life, and all of my plans to you, Jesus.

                                

                                                         ~Amy (one of our students currently on outreach)

                            

  Here are pictures of students and staff currently on outreach: 

 

Also! Another update (in case you don't follow me on social media)... I am dating the most amazing guy I have ever met. His name is Justin. We worked in the same department at the beginning of last year, became good friends, and started dating in September :) He is such a gift in my life, and I am so thankful. Here are a few pictures of us:

     

 

On a personal note, my relationship with Justin shines God's faithfulness in so many ways. If you have been following my newsletters this year, a lot of my personal updates have been about surrender to God's promptings and direction in my life, even when it didn't make sense and even when it was painful. And now I look back at this year and see that through my surrender, God was able to do deep work and healing in my heart that allowed me to be ready for Justin. God knows our hearts completely! I am so thankful He does. He started to show me that I had some self-hatred that came from past wounds. Often when we have painful circumstances in our lives, we form lies about who we are and who God is. I had no idea that I carried self-hatred! If someone had asked me that, I would have said, "Ofcourse not!". But through some painful circumstances that I wrote about in a previous newsletter, God started to show me the roots of the pain. He showed me that I had some walls of self-protection in my heart that were from the lies of self-hatred. He showed me that these walls would allow people to get to a certain level of intimacy in my heart, and then no further. Once they got too close, the walls would not allow them any closer. He showed me that not only would they cause my future husband to be pushed away, but they also caused me to push God away in some areas. WOW! I then surrendered to the process, and He walked me through areas of pain that allowed Him to start healing the roots. It was a long process, and I still work through areas of pain as it comes up. But as I surrender, I continue to see my heart become more free and healed. And now, I can see the fruit of what God has done in my relationship with Justin! If I start to believe any of the lies that God has been working out of me, I can see it reflected in my relationship with Justin. It is crazy how the health of my relationship with God is so often shown to me in my relationship with Justin. 

I hope that last paragraph made sense. I wanted to share it with you because I have been walking in deeper victory with God, and wanted to share it with the ones that support me in this journey! YOU! Thankyou for reading and being apart of what God is doing in YWAM Maui, and also what God is doing in me. The more freedom I continue to walk in, the more excited I get to walk with others into the same freedom God has given to me.

Justin just wrote an amazing newsletter! Not only does he describe the heart and schedule of YWAM Maui in a wonderful way, he also shared a bit about the two of us and how our relationship pulls him closer to God's heart. He is my favorite :) Here is the link: Justin's Newsletter.

So even in a wild, upside-down year... there's so much to be thankful for! Thanks for reading and keeping up with my life :) I would love to hear how you are doing! 

Violet 

Even still, I will trust You

Alright. this is a bit on the vulnerable side. Of a hard situation that stretched me, grew me, and pushed me to trust God's heart even when I don't understand.

Have you ever been in a situation that you felt God ask you to continue walking in, and it brings pain? Or it brings disappointment because it looked different than you thought? This past week a situation brought unexpected hurt that caused me to be angry at God... and it took me a few days to be able to start processing it with Him because my heart felt confused, and a little jaded… and I knew I was having a hard time trusting Him. I knew in my head that God was trustworthy, yet my heart was believing something different. There was a point in my process where I knew that if I let it simmer in my heart it would bring bitterness, and get in the way of my intimacy with the Lord. I know hard things happen. I know that walking with Him isn't always easy. I know that there can be spiritual warfare. And I know we are called to lay down our lives. But this situation was an area I already had a hard time trusting Him with, so when it turned out different the sting was deeper. Then I started thinking about my calling... and how I know the Lord is calling me to people's hearts. To help them overcome lies and hindrances that are in the way of them knowing God's deep love and their value. Helping them connect their head knowledge of who God is to the deepest places of their hearts. And I realized that the enemy would LOVE to use this situation against my calling... and if I let this come between my relationship with the Lord, it would DIRECTLY affect the calling He has over my life. WOW. It quickly caused me to go deep with Him and talk out the pain... to talk to Him about how it affected me and to let Him give me perspective... and let my heart release forgiveness (even though my HEAD knew He didn't do anything wrong... I knew my heart needed to go there). I needed to release my control of having to understand everything. To surrender that His ways are higher than mine, and His thoughts higher than mine. I went on a run that day and started to speak out loud to any lies that were trying to come between the Lord and I, breaking off anything the enemy was trying to plant in my heart. Sometimes we have TO FIGHT to keep our hearts healthy. And you know what is so wonderful? He is so kind as we process these kinds of situations out with Him. He wants us to be honest with Him so we can get to the root of what is happening in our hearts, instead of pushing our feelings under the rug and it staying for years. 

I know I am talking a lot on this... but it is SO important that we take these areas to the Lord or it can become a wall between our relationship with Him. I would love to challenge you to ask Him if there are any seeds of bitterness, hurt, anger, or unforgiveness that may be in the way of your relationship with Him? Just take some quiet moments and let Him speak to you.  

In this process with Him, I was reminded of His kindness. He wasn't angry with me as I was honest with Him... you know what He said that brought tears to my eyes? He said, "Violet, can I have your heart back? Come back to my heart". What in the world?? His kindness brings us to repentance. I know this may sound dramatic to some people, but I know that when I have something like bitterness or unforgiveness in my heart... even when it's just a little, it effects every aspect of my life. So even if this encourages just one person, I will be thankful.

At the end of the day, He doesn't owe us anything....yet He continually loves and loves and loves... and I am forever grateful I am His. I have come to a place where there is no turning back- no matter what, I am committed to this beautiful God.

Even still, I will trust You.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths

The Sweetness of Surrender

Hi! I recently wrote a blog for YWAM Maui's website, and decided to share it here :) 

Before my commitment to YWAM,  I was living in Nashville, TN for several years. During my time in Nashville, God spoke to me a lot about dreaming with Him-and encouraged me to dream bigger with Him often. It was a beautiful season, and a time for those dreams to grow and develop. When God asked me to come back to YWAM Maui to help staff, I had no idea the heart journey He was about to take me on!

My first month back staffing, He asked me to surrender all my dreams. He wanted me to give all of them back to Him. At first, I was angry, hurt, and confused. “What? Why? Didn’t you want me to have faith for these? You have been speaking to Me about them for years, God. YOU told me to dream bigger about them when I was afraid to, why are you taking them away?”. These were the questions that came up in my fear that He was changing His mind on some of the deepest dreams of my heart.

I didn’t understand and struggled with why a good Father would do this. But even in my doubt of His intentions- I said yes to His request. I opened my heart and hands and gave Him back all my dreams. It was a hard process-and done with tears and a lot of questions.

But you know what His request revealed about my heart? What I believed about His nature. It showed me that I didn’t believe He was for me, that I was afraid He wouldn’t come through for me, and that He would withhold good things from me. WOW. And I thought I had already walked through that. But He was going deeper.

Because I said yes to surrender, He was able to touch areas of my heart that I didn’t know still needed healing. It let Him go to the roots of my wounds. And He knew that asking me to give Him back my dreams would open my heart to the process of healing. What sweet surrender!

What if I would have resisted to His poking and prodding? What if I would have said no to the area of my heart He was touching? I would still be in the same place I used to be-with wrong beliefs of His nature-of who He is! When we say yes to His process, we continue to walk in more freedom as He transforms and restores. He doesn’t want us to keep a band-aid on our wounds; He wants to heal our hearts and remove lies that keep us from knowing Him.

And you know what He has been showing me? That if I don’t know His goodness as a Father, my heart can’t fully receive or enjoy the gifts He has for me!

I am so thankful that I follow such a loving Father. He is good. He is faithful. He is worthy of me surrendering my everything. And what sweet surrender.

Aloha

Hello to my wonderful family and friends!

So much has happened the last few months. We just had our Fall school return from their outreach to Asia with amazing testimonies of what God did. I am linking a team video of my sister's outreach with her team! This will give a glimpse of their time in Indonesia and the Philippines. They were able to see many people receive Jesus as their savior, and connect them to local churches! They were also able to encourage the churches they visited, and serve them in many ways.

I want to brag on my sister's team :) they were able to persevere even when they had a lot of challenges come their way. Not every outreach is easy- they are often challenging and out of our comfort zone. This can cause disunity and discouragement for teams, yet this team overcame these challenges over and over again and we are SO PROUD of them! The teams that returned were also able to meet the Winter school that is here now, and encourage them for what is to come. 

Seeing the drastic change of each student in their walk with God always encourages me and what I do! For example, during the graduation ceremony we had for our Fall school, we had a time of worship at the end of the night. And as I was singing, I was distracted by someone singing VERY loud. I looked to see who it was, and started to cry because it was a student that used to be the quietest and most reserved of all the students-and he was singing at the top of his lungs because he was so overcome by all that God did in his life! And that is why it made me cry-because THAT is a huge reason I am here. To not only be apart of a ministry that brings the Gospel to Asia, but also to see the lives of students changed forever by going through a school that allows them to grow in their relationship with God. It's a beautiful thing, and I am thankful to be apart of it. 

My last letter I shared about my adjustment to living in community, and God's challenge for me to "dive in" and not fear burning out. I also shared about my position as the leader in the Hospitality department. I am still in that position, and thankful I can serve the ministry in this way. The first quarter was full of a lot of surrender, trust, and adjustment in many areas of my life. And this quarter I feel that I am now more able to flourish in my position and bring more vision to my area of work. I have several staff that work with me, along with many students that work in my department several days a week-and it has been a joy to be apart of their lives :)

Along with that, I get the opportunity to help lead worship here, and I am thankful for that opportunity to grow! Helping with worship is a big heart desire of mine, and I hope to continue developing that area of my life. 

Thankyou for reading :) I would love to hear how you are doing, and if there is any way I could pray for you! 

Violet 

P.S. Scroll down for pictures!

Click Fall DTS 2018 - Phindo Team to watch a glimpse of outreach! 

Just me and some pomelo fruit!

The Fall school that just graduated! Woo!

(My sister is the top left)

Can't Believe I Am Back!

I wrote an update to my friends shortly after arriving in Maui, and realized I forgot to post on my blog! Here it is:

I am excited to write this update-I can't believe I have already been here for a month! I am currently sitting on my bed, which is a top bunk of one of the many bunk beds in my room, waiting for the second hurricane storm to pass since I have been here! We have been fortunate, and very thankful how the hurricanes have continued to mellow out before hitting the islands. 

I would love to paint a picture in words of what it is like living and working for Youth With A Mission Maui! Like a lot of small YWAM bases, the staff and students learn to live with lots of people. We have a building for the guy staff and guy students, a building that houses the girl staff and girl students, along with a lecture room where students have classes to listen to the speakers that come weekly, and other various buildings. When I arrived, I was quickly reminded how living in community has its blessings, along with its challenges. For example, there is one kitchen for the staff and students to share- which can quickly become busy and push everyone to grow patience I often try to beat the crowd and make my coffee and breakfast early while I am still waking up! Also, there are so many personalities and backgrounds while living in community-some are very extrovert and find their energy with always spending time with people. While others (like me) need some introvert time to refill- and living in community can quickly deplete energy. I love people, and am thankful to live in community and the opportunity to walk alongside of the students that come, but I am learning to balance taking care of my needs so that I can love people well. 

And honest moment... a few weeks after I arrived, I started to see fear of burning out come up. And then I felt God show me how it was causing me to self-protect. Instead of diving in completely, I was withholding from community out of fear I wouldn't be refilled. Not in obvious ways to the people around me, but I realized I could not live in this fear- how it would deplete me even more. He challenged me to trust Him- and reminded me that He didn't call me back to YWAM Maui just to watch me burn out. He encouraged me to dive deep into this season... to be present, to serve whole-heartedly, and to love intentionally. And then dive deep into my times with Him, letting His presence refill me, along with doing things that give me life. This fear may seem silly, but it can be so real in ministry where you also live. So with all that being said, I am learning once again how to live in this community-to love and serve deeply and also take care of my needs in the way God created me.

You might be wondering what my position is for this quarter  I am currently what we call, "hospitality head". Which, in a lot of ways, is like the mamma of the base. There are a few other staff that work with me, and together we keep the base clean, plan and decorate for the important events that happen for each school, take care of the speaker's housing and food needs each week, make snacks for staff meetings, celebrate birthdays, and other details that may seem boring to explain  but as a whole, we hope to create a peaceful and loving home for the students and staff. For example, last week hospitality was in charge of the school's graduation. We decorated, baked delicious desserts, and partnered with our kitchen staff to create an important event for the students that returned from Nepal. This week we are preparing for our new students to arrive! We are excited.

Also! Fun fact! My sister (who is also staffing!) is going to lead a team of students on outreach this Fall! I am so proud of her . She will be directly involved with the students in their school for the next three months, and then will be going to Southeast Asia with the students. If you think of her, pray for her since her position will be very busy.

With a smile on my face, I want to say THANKYOU for how you have supported me. Whether it is through finances, friendship, or both! I am here because of your help 

~Violetta

P.S. I attached a picture of my sister (Trudy) and I! It shows our excitement when she picked me up at the Maui airport. So glad I get to work with her!