Previously, I mentioned how I felt God leading me to choose a place and plant myself. This was surprising to me, because I expected Him to bring me into another organized ministry, or long-term into a third world country. Yes, I feel I am made to reach people from unreached nations, and travel sharing the love of Jesus. But when God kept confirming that He wanted me to choose a place that I wanted to live and be for a time-I quickly realized how GOOD He is to me... because my heart needed this season. Long story short, I ended up choosing Nashville, Tennessee. While waiting for God to open up the right housing details, I worked and saved for a few months living near my family in Virginia. After being in ywam for over 4 years, these few months with my family was such a wonderful time-a gift that I didn't want to take for granted!
To be honest, coming out of ywam/missionary life after so many years was not always easy. Once you are in ministry for a time, it can be hard to adjust to a "normal" pace of life that does not focus solely on missions and the big picture of what God is doing around the world. My life consisted so much of pouring my love and energy into students and how God was moving in the nations. And in the midst of all this, God did a great amount in my heart personally with healing and restoration-which allowed me to go deeper in my understanding of His love, and deeper in my own love for Him. The process of healing God brought me through was often hard, but looking back at it now I can describe it as a dance of Him loving me, and me loving back-so simple.
Then suddenly I am faced with the question of- "where do YOU want to live? what do YOU want for this season I am leading you in, Violet? Because I am going to plant you where you are going to thrive"... which at first caused me to struggle a bit with questions like, "Wait, are you sure? This is not stepping away from what you are calling me to, is it? Did I do something wrong? etc. etc. Yes, I struggled a bit.
Then I began to see how much He loves the dreams that He planted in my heart. Not only does He love when we are willing to follow Him anywhere He leads us, but He also cares about our personal dreams. And some of my personal dreams were willingly surrendered and put on the back shelf-while trusting that He knew best even if those things didn't happen. Yet, I have been overwhelmed by what I feel God is saying to me... That it is the time for my dreams and His dreams to collide-that I am stepping into a time of abundance and gifts from Him.
WAIT... WHAT?? Yeah. That's what I said and struggled with believing completely. Yet, I am learning that we have a GOOD Father that LOVES us deeper and more extravagantly than we understand... that it is not just about us joining Him in His interest in reaching the world... He is also interested in what makes His sons and daughters come alive.
Something God said during this whole process was,
"Violet, I delight in the smallest of details-the "mundane" things in life. It's not just about big missions, or where it seems I am doing the most work- it's about obedience wherever I call my children. Whether it is eating rice and beans in a third-world country, or working a "normal" job, they are equally important. It's about Me being the center of your heart wherever I call you. What if a life full of the details filled with my breathe of life made the most impact in the world? So receive my fullness right now, every day look to Me to breathe into the small things and the big things. Let Me fill you with all the joy, love and delight you were made to carry... don't fear embracing it, I made you for abundant life! And when My sons and daughters walk in the fullness of what I died to give them-wherever I lead them- they are the most light."
Just LOVE Him so deeply. I hope this encouraged YOU as well, wherever you are living and working :) My heart's desire is to love Him wherever I go and allow that to be the overflow to the people around me.
All that to say, I am loving Nashville. It's finally starting to feel like my home for now-adjusting takes time with everything new. I am blessed with a house of several amazing housemates, along with a job that is good for this season. I don't know how long I will be living here, or what His calling in my life with missions looks like. But I know that He is filling my heart with fresh hope and faith of His plans to combine His dreams with my dreams-and is doing something new combined with what He has told me in the past.
I am starting to see God's goodness for this season coming true-and am learning to dream with Him again. Thanks for reading these scribbles and thoughts. I appreciate you and all the support you have given me through this walk.
Much love,
Violet
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